A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions a lot of people think that
What I say on record or what I talk about on a record
That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it
Or if I say that
I wanna kill somebody that
I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it
Well shit if you believe that then I'll kill you
You know why 'cos I'm a criminal
Criminal you god damn right
I'm a criminal
Yeah I'm a criminal
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex hermaph or a transavest
Pants or dress hate fags the answer's yes
Homophobic nah you're just heterophobic
Starin' at my jeans watchin' my genitals bulgin'
That's my motherfuckin' balls you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum you'll never get hold of em
Hey it's me Versace whoops somebody shot me
An' I was just checkin' the mail get it checkin' the 'male'
How many records you expectin' to sell
After your second LP sends you directly to jail
C'mon relax guy I like gay men right Ken give me an amen
Please Lord this boy needs Jesus heal
This child help us destroy these demons
Oh and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'cos
I watch TV and Comcast cable
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards duh
And to think it's just little ol' me
Mister don't give a fuck still won't leave
I'm a criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
My mother did drugs hard liquor cigarettes and speed
The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cos that baby was me
I'm a criminal an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you suposed to
Grow up when you weren't raised
So as I got older and
I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker
Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word
My morals went when the president got oral sex
In his Oval office on top of his desk off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me you won't avoid me you can't miss me
I'm white blonde haired and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane
Crashes and laughs as long as it ain't happened to him
Slim shady I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined
Replacin' the doctor 'cos Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather so I'm takin' his place
Oh that's Dre with an
AK to his face don't make me
Kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it eh
I'm a criminal
Aight look uh hu, just go up in that motherfucker get the
Motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there
I'll be right here waiting on you yo Em what don't kill nobody this time
How you doin', yeah I need to make a withdrawl
Put the fucking money in the bag bitch and I won't kill you
I'm not gonna kill you bitch quit looking around
I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you hurry the fuck up
Thank you windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it and if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes come back shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye hired to pry into my business
Die bitches, bastards brats pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck I'd shave my nuts
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough
To say the stuff I say so this tape is shut
Shit half the shit I say
I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask
I'm a criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
Criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
Criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
Criminal
'Cos every time I write a rhyme these people think it's a crime
To tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a
Criminal
But I don't gotta say a word
I just flip em the bird
And keep goin' I don't take shit from no one
Criminal
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