Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out
Heart plays in ways the mind can't
Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure out
This is how we conceptualize human beings
My auntie is a man now
I think I'm old enough to understand now
Drinkin' Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards
Motorola pager off like Yes Jackie
Blue Air Max's
Gold chains and curl kits
Ninety-three Nissan wax job
The earliest
Big social, big personality
Vocal
Played underground verbatim and stayed local
My auntie is a man now
I watch him and his girl hold their hands down
Tip of the avenues under street lights made his
Thinkin' I want me a bad bitch when I get big
They hug on the corner like California king
Cold hand all up her skirt
Cars whistlin' down the road
See my auntie is a man now
Slight bravado
Scratchin' the likes from lotto
Hopin' that she pull up tomorrow so I can hang out in the front seat
Six by nines
Keepin' the music up under me
My auntie is a man now
Asked my momma why my uncles don't like him that much
And at the parties why they always wanna fight him that much
She said Ain't no tellin'
Niggas always been jealous because he had more women
More money and more attention made more envy
Callin' him anything but broke was less offendin'
My auntie is a man now
I think I'm old enough to understand now
Drinkin' Paul Masson with her hat turned backwards
Back when it was comedic relief to say faggot
Faggot, faggot, faggot
We ain't know no better
Elementary kids with no filter
However
My auntie became a man and I took pride in it
She wasn't gay, she ate pussy and that was the difference
That's what I told my friends in second grade
She pickin' me up from school
They stare at her in the face
They couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomed
We pull off bumpin' quick like it was nothin'
My auntie is a man now
What a relationship
I grew up fast
I needed no one to babysit
He gave me some cash then gave me some gang
Cherry freshener on the dash
I never complained
She even cut my hair at the pad
Was lovin' my fade
The first person I seen write a rap
That's when my life had changed
House full of demo
Smoke stuck on the window
Cameras on the microphone
All women and men though
My auntie was a man now
We cool with it
The history had trickled down and made us ig'nant
My favorite cousin said he's returnin' the favor and followin' my auntie with the same behavior
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
He's more confident to live his plan now
But the family in disbelief this time
Convincin' themselves
He ain't livin' discreet, he's fine
They said they never seen it in him but I seen it
The Barbie dolls played off reflection of Venus
He built a wall so tall you couldn't climb over
He didn't laugh as hard when the kids start jokin'
Faggot, faggot, faggot
We ain't know no better
Middle school kids with no filter
However
I had to be very mindful of my good cousin
I knew exactly who he was but I still loved him
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
I mean he's really Mary-Ann
Even took things further
Changed his gender before
Bruce Jenner was certain
Livin' his truth even if it meant see a surgeon
We didn't talk for a while
He seemed more distant
Wasn't comfortable around me
Everything was offensive
But I recall we both had a sick sense of humor
Made raw but time changes all
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
Remember church
Easter Sunday
I sat in the pew
You had stronger faith
More spiritual than dudes who were livin' life straight
Which I found ironic 'cos the pastor didn't see him the same
He said my cousin was goin' through some things
He promised the world we livin in was an act on abomination
And Demetrius was to blame
I knew you was conflicted by the feelings of preacher man
Wonderin' if God still call you a decent man
Still you found the courage to be subservient just to anoint
Until he singled you out to prove his point, sayin'
Demetrius is Mary-Ann now
Church
His auntie is a man now
It hurt
You the most 'cos your belief was close to his words
Forcin' me to stand now
I said Mister Preacher man should we love thy neighbor
The laws of the land or the heart what's greater
I recognize the study she was taught since birth but that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved
The building was thinkin' out loud
Bad angel
That's when you looked at me and smiled, said Thank you
The day I chose humanity over religion
The family got closer
It was all forgiven
I said them F-bombs
I ain't know any better
Mistakenly I didn't think that you'd know any different
See I was taught words was nothin' more than a sound
If ever they was pronounced without any intentions
The very second you challenged the shit I was kickin'
Reminded me about a show
I did out the city
That time I brung a fan on stage to rap
But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me
You said Kendrick ain't no room for contradiction
To truly understand love switch position
Faggot, faggot, faggot
We can say it together but only if you let a white girl say Nigga
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